Clown Dolls – The Mutant Offspring of Scary Clowns and Haunted Dolls

The Clown Doll : An Urban Legend

Having written posts on both clowns and dolls and the fear inspiring properties of each, I sat wondering which of the two was the scariest of all. Evil killer clowns versus psychotic haunted dolls, battling it out in a showdown to the death in my mind, as I imagined each lashing out at the other, a sucker punch, and a blast of other-worldly mayhem, as these two titans of death defying horror, faced and fought with venom.
And then it hit me, terrifying as both evil clowns and haunted dolls may be, there was a far more serious threat lurking on the fringes, something so ungodly that mere dolls and clowns paled in comparison, a culmination of the two.
Clown Dolls - Gymbo
Sure, he looks innocent enough, the ‘Gymbo’ clown doll from ‘Gymboree’ but look closer and observe the slight maniacal twist at the edge of his lips, and the plotting expression that distorts his face. For whilst the Gymboree Gymbo clown doll may look harmless enough as children play with him as an aid to educational lesson, behind this clever facade, Gymbo the clown doll waits, poised to strike.
Not dissimilar in appearance to the notorious clown doll that springs out from under the bed to attack the young boy ‘Robbie’ in the infamous movie ‘The Poltergeist’, Gymbo is one of the least suspected of all of the clown dolls, hiding as he does, behind such innocent disguise.
Clown Dolls – Porcelain Clown Dolls
Porcelain clown dolls are a different breed altogether, they leave the child market to the likes of Gymbo, and instead target old people and the mentally deranged. With bright silken clothing and shiny white faces the porcelain clown dolls masquerade as collectibles and items of class to be shown off on mantle-pieces or horded en-mass.
Porcelain clown dolls will rarely target children, for it is on adult souls that these dolls choose to feast. 
How can I defend myself against a clown doll?
I’m sorry, but you can’t, clown dolls have all the nightmarish abilities of both haunted dolls and evil killer clowns combined. Attack them with a chainsaw, douse them in petrol and ignite, drop an anvil on their head, and they will keep on coming. Both scary clowns and possessed dolls have their weaknesses, hard as they may be to find, but firing a bazooka close range at a clown dolls face, will do no more than to annoy it.
All you can do is run, and keep running, should you find yourself on the sour end of an evil clown dolls intentions. But know that the clown doll will never give up, and that one lonely night, you’ll awaken with its hands around your throat, staring your last into those cold dead clown doll eyes.


  1. Talk about the perfect storm--Clown Dolls. Sons of beyotches better stay the heck away from me :D

  2. It's all head for the brambles in bare feet as the attack is on!

  3. damn you!!!!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing, and yet, I feel so scared now too.


    In my opinion, porcelain is scarier then cloth, but those chewed on, one eyed, scraggle hair plastic baby dolls are scary too.

  4. I would rather not hang out in the same space as either one. Both are vile and super scary and goodness knows why they were invented. Probably some mean old bugger that wanted to keep the kids away ...

  5. No squeaking shoe noise at the end, I was looking forward to that as the squeaking approaches from far :)