As a long term fan of creepy dolls, such as ‘Chucky’, from the Child’s Play movie franchise, and those supposedly more real, like the infamous ‘Robert the Doll’. I’ve often found a strange pleasure in perusing the ‘Haunted Dolls’ offered up for sale on eBay (of which there are many).
Evil dolls possessed by malevolent spirits, and those of a kinder nature are less rare than you might previously have thought. Or at least, that’s what the numerous eBay sellers would have you believe. With Haunted dolls being listed in their hundreds. From dolls possessed by vile Demon. Through to dolls that play home to lost children, and dolls that whisper in the night. All can be found on Ebay. For a price.
And while I’m smart enough to understand why eBay forces the sellers of such wares to label in small letters their items for sale, ‘for entertainment purposes only’. And would not expect to find too many ‘real-life’ Chuckys on the internets favorite auction site. You just never know. And seeing as many of these haunted dolls don’t sell for a huge amount. For a small handful of notes, I could own my very own ‘haunted doll’. Which, for right, or for wrong, was something that appealed to me.
Meet ‘Lamba’ (see photo), a doll who contains the spirit of a child who in life, suffered terribly. And who now, through confusion, fear, and malice. Trapped. Half-in, and half-out of the next realm. Seeks revenge against a world that caused it such pain. ‘Highly-active’, and mischievous. Lamba, is said to be highly unpredictable. And the seller, as part of the conditions of sale. Waves any and all responsibility - for any harm caused to the new buyer (i.e. me). Up to, and including, loss of life.
Conditions I perhaps foolishly accepted by hitting the ‘Buy-It-Now’ button.
And so now Lamba sits, on a chair in the corner of the room (which seems to be the optimum position for witnessing doll-based paranormal activity - if you believe the YouTube videos). And here i lie, watching it. Waiting for it to come at me. Unwilling to be caught off-guard, and unprepared. At least that is, until sleep grips me. Affording it the chance to slip down from its chair whilst I slumber - and choke me while I sleep.
But for now I still live. And while my eBay doll has not yet attacked me with cleaver, or set me aflame in my bed. Six weeks in - and I’m not going to write Lamba off as a total fraud, just yet. Because there have been several small ‘unexplainable’ episodes of note. Such as the doll hiding my car keys. Drinking my last beer. And forgetting to put the toilet seat down behind it. All evidence, I think you’ll agree - of a highly active, and inexplicable paranormal entity (and not of a forgetful haunted doll owner)...